we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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