she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
