About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
