Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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