I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
