Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
so let's talk penis.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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