alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
