It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I checked into jail on foursquare
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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