1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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