this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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