Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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