The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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