So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
