we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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