Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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