I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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