I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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