remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
