i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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