Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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