If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
