I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
