Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
