I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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