just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have aggressive nipples.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
