sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
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