i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
