My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
