hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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