8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize