my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
