why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
