The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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