Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
