She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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