fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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