problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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