What did we do last night that was yellow?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Randomize
