I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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