Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize