I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
