there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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