me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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