i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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