also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
