Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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