i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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