You can't motorboat a personality
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
