Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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