Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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