margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
