dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
