Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
