:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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