How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Randomize