if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
