she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
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