Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You're a waste of cheezeits
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
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